Why I might be breaking up with the NFL

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You and I have sustained a long and successful relationship throughout my life. However, at this moment, I am seriously considering breaking up with you. Why?

First of all, you take and never give back .  Okay, some of that is a lie. But the only time I’m satisfied with you is when you’re at your peak in early february unless my team is there. The games are almost never satisfactory.

Second, so many people are so obsessed with you, I can’t take it – even you are. It’s like you think you’re the only sport in the world, and people believe you. SI is now in the middle of their NFL offseason preview (really?), My not top ten plays were taken by an interview at the combine, and now there’s talk of a major nfl event in every offseason month,

Third, your attention to injury is so small, I couldn’t measure it using the world’s tiniest ruler. You are appearing to do nothing about concussions after one has taken his own life due to brain damage, and so many former players are suing you. And yet you won’t change.

Fourth and finally, your games are like one giant ad. Games last three hours. That means when I watch a 3 hour game, 66.6% is ADS. That’s just nuts.

Sincerely,

The sports according to will team (me)

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